Falling Through Darkness
by HinoteTwintailCat
Summary: As I fall through the Darkness...  Just a little ficlet.


**Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and its characters are the property of Square-Enix and Disney Interactive Studios. I do not own them in anyway shape or form. Please support the official release and buy the games and merch (when you can find the merch).**

**Warnings: Homosexuality, depressing themes, character death.**

**Rating: T, mostly for language and implied stuff.**

**When you're done reading, I would love for you to try to guess what this all means.**

-As We Fall-

As I fall through the darkness, I know that I am dying. Far above me is a bright light, and I know that its laughing at me. I watch my chocolate-colored bangs snap around me as the wind howls through my ears. I'm not afraid, though I know I should be. I know I'm leaving everything behind… every one.

I'm leaving Riku. That part hurts a little… knowing that I won't see him again. He'll chase me into the darkness, probably. This Darkness I threw myself into… Where feathers of black fall from the ground into the sky, as though I am the only thing that obey's the gravity here… and the Light above me has its own pull, drawing everything else towards it. I long to touch that Light.

As I fall through the darkness, I catch glimpses of doves. White as snow, seeming to emit their own light as they fly up around me, feathers brushing against my face as they come too close. My hands, calloused from wielding the Keyblade, are in my sight. I find myself reaching out as though I want to catch one of the doves and pull it down with me. My gloves seem to be turning into a fine mist as I watch, similarly falling away from me. I still don't feel afraid. In fact… I feel like this is how its supposed to be. My hands are bare, and my focus is drawn to the countless of doves around me and above me.

Their wings have turned to stained glass, and as they flock, they create images. Circles of stained glass. I'm reminded of the place called "Destati". The inner reaches of the Hearts of the Keybearers. The birds shift and swing, getting into the perfect position as I watch them form a platform. Too late, I'm far beyond their reach. The Light shines on behind them, illuminating their Stained Glass wings, revealing the image they're trying so hard to create. Music notes in blue on a shore line's backdrop.

The music is the water, beating against the shore with the beating of the doves' wings. The sound of the ocean fills my ears and suddenly I feel myself collide with something wet. The Darkness takes on a quality much like water. I'm falling through it still, realizing I can breathe. My bangs have turned gold.

Am I dying? No… there's something else happening here. I continue to fall through the turbulent currents that the darkness now mimics. I can still see the doves, and they are creating a new image. A stab of anguish goes through me as that beach of music fades away, replaced by an empty hallway. The doves fly in patterns, as though to reflect walking through the achingly familiar white halls. Panels are missing from the walls, revealing piping and cable work as the birds create an ever shifting illusion of this endless hallway with their wings of glass. Again I reach out to catch one, but they are well out of my reach. Sparkles float away from my face, and I realize I'm crying, the tears drawn to the light as I am continually rejected by it.

The hall the doves have created ends at a doorway of pitch black, the swirls of someone's elegant hand-writing appearing in a cobalt blue in the shadows. I cannot read the words as they are written, and they fade soon after. Again, anguish tears through me as those words fade into Darkness. I realize that these are not my visions. That I am not dying. There is something inside of me, begging to be let out…

Falling through the darkness, the Light never seems to get any closer. I have no control over my body and the waters around me have turned into the never ending rustle of pages being turned and the scratch of pencil on paper. The doves are restless now. They never cease their frantic movements and their colors change through varying shades of reds, greens, blues, and whites. Oranges and yellows. They can't seem to decide what sort of image to create, and I'm reminded of a dying fire struggling desperately to stay alive. The last flickers of a flame before it turns to nothing but cinders. The anguish from before seems shallow compared to the deep rooted agony in my heart. What is this pain? Why does it persist?

The flame lingers, and I watch the light above begin to flicker and die. Nothing remains for me in the Light. Nothing awaits me in the Darkness. I fall into flames of black and watch the doves scatter, and begin to fall with me. Their wings again of white feathers, turned black as ash as the reach the flames. They have fulfilled their purpose. They have nothing more to show me.

I am alone in this place. The flames do not burn, but I feel as though I am dying once again.

This sensation... This is not my place. These are not visions I should be allowed to see.

The light disappears and I slam into the ground as the Darkness claims its reward.

Suddenly plastic stars light the area above me. Glowing green and florescent. Phosphorus? I'm aware of someone crying. I see my bangs. Chocolate again. A face replaces those green stars that decorate my ceiling. Silver hair frames it, recently cut short. Green eyes that glow faintly in the dark. A pale hand cups my cheek and his calloused thumb brushes something wet away from my face. I am the one that is crying. Those green eyes are understanding, and he doesn't ask any questions. He only offers me the simple comfort of knowing that he is there. My arms find their way around him and I bury my face in the crook of his neck, pulling myself against him. His hand migrates to my back, rubbing it gently, and his smooth voice murmurs tiredly, sweet nothings in my ear.

Every night I dream I'm falling through the Darkness. And every night, I watch as the dream ceases to be my own. There is something inside of me crying to get out. There is something inside of me that is hopelessly alone. The dreams mean something, but I don't know what. I'm afraid to find out. Riku comforts me like this every night. His legs tangle with mine and I cling to him and pull him so close that we're nearly One. Sometimes we are One. But never after the dream. Tonight will be no different. He will comfort me until exhaustion claims me, and then the alarm will ring and the day will begin again. The Cycle will repeat. Never ending. Until I learn what these dreams mean, I am cursed to forever experience this nightly anguish.

The thing inside of me will never let me have rest or peace. I will see its private dreams and share its pain with it. Until the very end.

-Fin-

**Hope you liked it. Let me know if you think you get what I'm going for.**


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